I keep telling myself that there are many people who feel this way but the nagging sense of defeat before I’ve even begun is like tinnitis. The constant humming that won’t go away. I’m in this but hey, I can get out, right?
It’s like this: I signed up for the Trailblaze Challenge with the sincere desire to help a worthy cause — Make A Wish foundation, for children — and after a few training hikes I am noticing something. I’m no kid myself.
I hate to focus on age because, what a stupid “barrier” that is to hold up, but the fact is, I’m finding the demands of aggressive, purposeful hiking to be, well, demanding. No big deal, right? Just keep training. That’s the whole idea of training anyway. But I have to admit, I am allowing the concept of quitting to visit my thoughts, here and there.
There are the time constraints, for one. It takes a few hours to do a hefty hike (7-9 miles, I’d estimate, depending on my pace). That’s precious. Time is all we get, and even at that, we don’t know how much of it is coming.
There are no guarantees of years or months. There is only today.
So let’s just stop at that one because blogging also is a time-taker. If I stop right there I should be telling myself, “Exactly. Time is all we get, and we don’t know how much.” And there, with that revelation, I’ve hit on it. That is reality for the children that Make-A-Wish is supporting. It is an even scarier reality for the parents of these children, who are hoping to watch them grow old, have achievements, live their lives.
Time is precious. Every day, precious. Make-A-Wish here in Connecticut is hiking to make those precious moments happy ones for these kids, and memorable ones for their families.
So after logging nine miles yesterday, I took it easy today. I blocked out the humming that’s suggesting to me that my athleticism might not be up to the challenge. And I decided that I will take this one day at a time. Because today is what I have. Just like the kids I’m hiking for.